There’s More to Friendship than Salad.

28 Mar

  When I sat down to write this, I intended to fill it with musings on love, and friendship, and relationships. But I don’t think I’m going to get that far. I guess there’s a loneliness in me somewhere, that’s stemming from a longing for something I don’t have, but when I think about it logically, there isn’t really anything I don’t have. I mean, there are things I don’t have, but I could have them. And the other things, things I don’t and could never have, I don’t really want. I don’t have any concrete examples here, I’m just trying to sort out thots and feelings in my head as they come out thru my fingers.
  I have more questions than answers tho. What’s the difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone? What’s the difference between the love one feels for a parent and the love one feels for a friend? What about a sibling? Or, even better, the love one feels for a non-related (by blood) sibling? (Maybe I’m the only one that wonders that. 😉 ) What exactly is the purpose of having a “significant other”? Is it just sex? Is it just a close friendship? Some combination of the two? What if you have sex with a close friend? Or what if you have sex with an acquaintance, and then have a really close friendship with someone else? Does that fulfill the same purpose? Yeah, it’s easy to write questions. And yet if all I long for is some undefinable ideal, there’s no point in longing for it. Not finding something makes wanting it and looking for it even worse. And finding something without having looked for it is wonderful.
  Besides, broad labels like the word “love” that everyone has a different definition for (and most will tell you they don’t know what it is anyways) seem to do more harm than good. And yet there doesn’t seem to be a better way to describe certain feelings. Oh how I long for the days when humans can mindspeak!
  I don’t want to hear “I’m fine” when I ask “How are you?” I want to know how you’re doing. (That’s why I asked.) I want to know who you really are and what you want. What are you doing here? What’s your goal, or if you don’t have one, how do you live your life? Humans fascinate me.

A scientist discovers a multi-cellular organism complex enuff to emit brain waves on a vibration never thot attainable. The creature is full of more potential than it realizes, and uses less than half of it’s strength in it’s everyday life. The scientist is overcome with fascination.

  That’s how I am with humans. Maybe I should be studying them instead of narrative, and story, and writing, and film/video-making. Then again, studying which narratives have captivated and affected people in the past is studying humans, in a way.
And now, a random song lyric. Well, maybe not completely random. It’s been filtered thru my mind and my fingers. But it’s not necessarily related to what’s written above:

“Look at how she listens. She says nothing of what she thinks. She just goes stumbling thru her memories, staring out onto Grey Street. She thinks, ‘Hey, how did I come to this? I dreamed myself a thousand times around the world. But I can’t get out of this place.'”
~ Dave Matthews Band, Grey Street


One Response to “There’s More to Friendship than Salad.”

  1. Anonymous March 29, 2003 at 12:21 am #

    hey! even tho i said there’s more to friendship than salad, i need to get your recipe for your dressing. luv ya ttyl

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