Soon We Will All Find Our Lives Swept Away. I Hope.

1 Apr

&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp So, I don’t know where this is going. I feel something which I will try to articulate. I need something to happen. I need life to do something. I need to be able to remain true to myself, and not depend on those around me to provide definitions of who and what I am. Not that this is something anyone surrounding me actively does, or is even aware of. Contrary to that, it’s my way of viewing myself. At least, it’s one technique I use for it. Apparently. Who am I? Are you sure you wanna know? I’m someone who quotes movies. I’m someone who studies humans, and stories, as if I were trying to figure out how I could possible be of the same species. I’m someone who hides behind online journal entries secretly hoping that someone will read them and reveal unknown truths to me. I’m someone who will tell you that yes, certainly, I know who I am, but if you ask me I’ll probably point you to here, or ask you to be more specific. Can anyone explain who they are? I guess where this is coming from is a realization that all of the little world around me that I’ve created, or found, for myself is in constant flux. While it’s nice to have a bubble to live in, it’d be even nicer if the bubble didn’t change shape and eventually pop. But it does. And where does that leave me? Who would I be if I were alone in a strange world? And why am I asking you (the general public?) as if you would know?
&nbsp&nbsp We’re at war. Potentially, this fact could change the world. It’s not likely to make it a better place (I don’t think) but…it could change it. Then again, I thot and said the same thing after September 11th.
“Everyday things change…but basically they stay the same.”
&nbsp I want a different world to live in. Living the change I want to see in the world isn’t entirely possible. This is either because I’m too idealistic in my vision of what the world ought to be, or because it’s impossible. Either way, I want the world to change. I’m not thrilled by this place, where the best thing I can do would be to follow in Mother Theresa’s footsteps, or Gandhi’s, or Jesus’, or Martin Luther King Jr.’s, or Frodo’s (or any other do-gooder, there’s a bunch, and I don’t mean to belittle their lives in any way). But I’m connected to joy. I’m connected to Innocence. This world, run with old negative programming, isn’t my natural habitat. I wonder if I sound drunk. I’m not. Nor am I alone. Ther are others of you out there, I’m sure. Or you may have no idea what I’m saying. I’m…I feel something. I tried to articulate it. As with all articulations, it’s up to the listener (or the reader, in this case) to determine if it’s successful or not.
Because there is no try.
It’s what you do that counts. Counts for. Counts against. It’s only what you do that counts.
…I’m going to sleep now.

Oh, life it seems a struggle between
What we think what we see
I’m not going to change my ways
Just to please you or appease you
Inside a crowd, five billion proud
Willing to punch it out
Right wrong weak strong
Ashes to ashes we all fall down
Look around this round
About this merry-go-round around
If at all God’s gaze upon us fall
His mischievious grin look at him

Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
Our emotions can be swept away
Forget about being quilty,
We are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away

Look at me in my fancy car
And my back account
Oh, how I wish I could take it all down
into my grave, god knows I’d save and save.
Take a look again
Everyday things change, but basically they stay the same

Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
Our emotions can be swept away
Intentions are not wicked,
Don’t be tricked into thinking so
Soon we will all find our lives swept away

~&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp Dave Matthews Band, Seek Up

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