Mesa Back!!!!

18 Aug

      So I’ve returned to home in Danvers from what was the best 10 weeks of my life. Timberlake is back on track. There are still issues with it, but they’re being talked about, and I’m being included. Todd is by far the best director that place has had since Dave Martin, who was great in my opinion, but I was only a camper at the time. What made this the best summer of my life? Last night the staff sat in a circle out on the upper lodge lawn under a flaming Vermont sunset. The campers had left already (altho Logan did threaten to show up at my dorm wearing a fox suit…so I may see him soonish.) as had a few staff. We sat there for almost two hours as the light went away, the night grew cool, and the bugs tortured us with incessant bites. We did this because we were appreciating each other. I was part of a community this summer which felt stronger than any community I’ve ever been in before, save that of family. People spoke of loving each other often, and everyone spoke of loving the summer, the group of people, the experience, and the feel of TL. After we were done appreciating each other, we hugged each other. Under the Vermont stars, in the cold and the bugs, which no longer mattered, we hugged and laughed and said goodbye. It wasn’t hard to leave, being exhausted, but it was hard to say goodbye. There were a lot of beautiful, wise, strong, and talented people there this year. Yet the community is only part of what made the summer so marvelous. I also utterly and completely failed at not falling in love this summer. Of all the little things that happened, the times that were wonderful (and I plan on making a short list) that’s by far the biggest highlight.
      Thinking back to staff week, 10 weeks ago, there was a buzz in the air about how this was the year. All of us TL Veterans knew that the staff this year was awesome. Several us were there last year and wished out loud that this would be the year to finally turn it around (and at least it couldn’t possibly be worse than last year). It’s hard to watch a childhood home die. I’m glad I didn’t have to. I’m glad we were right about this being the year. And I’m glad I got to be there for it. I feel incredibly lucky. TL’s enrollment went up as the summer progressed. I hope it goes up next summer, and then after that, etc. until it is full once again. Such a wonderful place should be fully appreciated, dammit. Grrrrr.
      I’m sitting here, looking at a computer and typing on a keyboard while having iTunes play me recorded, digitally compressed versions of camp songs. It’s a poor substitute for having 3 or 4 people playing guitars and 80 or so accompanying with voices, but it’s the best there is until next time I’m at camp for songs. As of now, there’s some kind of block in my mind and I can’t even begin to think of were I will be next summer. At least tho, I feel confident in knowing that TL will always be there, and I’ll always want to go back. It seems that we actually are going to California now at the end of this month, tho. Easton is staying in NH with Chris. Tiz is staying in MA. And thruout all this is a neverending voice in my head reminding me that now I’m in love and things are simpler and more complicated at the same time. Whatever I decide about next summer, that’s a factor.
      So obviously you all don’t realize it, but it’s later now. I’ve found some food, wasted time on the computer, mostly decided to buy an iPod, and tried to figure out how to continue this entry while actually writing nothing. I’ll update later with little memories and anecdotes from the summer, but…I feel like whatever I write is inadaquate to follow the summer. There can’t be any such thing as an entry about my summer. It can’t be put into words. You can’t read about it.

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