Greedo Shoots First! Get over it! (Actually, that’s not the subject at all…)

14 Oct

         So, in my vast and overwhelming efforts of procrastination I have stumbled upon this humor thread in the Jedi Council, which is, at times, actually amusing. Go me!
         How is Episode III going to tie the prequels into the originals? Well…
                   – The title will be “Jedi Leaves, Might Return Later, Not Really Sure Yet Though”
                   – In order to resonate deeply with ROTJ (that’s Return of The Jedi, for those of you not literate in SWG talk) (That’s “Star Wars Geek talk” for those of you not literate in…it), Palpatine will give Vader his new helmet and say, “See, it’s a hat.”
                   – A young Tarkin, assigned to build the Death Star, whines that he was “gonna go into Coruscant to pick up some power converters!” (This, by the way, also explains why the Death Star took twenty years to build: Tarkin wasted too much time with his friends. Either that or the construction crew ran out of power converters.)
                   – Obi-Wan, in his Jedi Starfighter, approaches the VERY incomplete Death Star and says “That’s no moon…it’s a couple of girders being welded together by a Geonosian!”
                   – To prove that lightsabers really are more elegant weapons, all blasters are revealed to have only two settings: “clumsy” and “random.”
                   – Yoda will be dropped off on Dagobah by Obi-Wan who will, significantly, leave him with a yellow ladder, in case a young Jedi named Luke Skywalker might show up in his X-Wing…
                   – A law will be passed prohibiting Wookiees from recieving recognition for their heroic deeds…
                   – During the climactic duel, a fallen Anakin taunts his former mentor with the words: “The circle is about halfway complete,” and “Your powers are average, middle-aged man.”
                   – Near the end of the movie, Obi-Wan will arrive with Luke on Tatooine. Once there he will realize his failure: “Oh sshi…er…Blast! The girl, I left the girl!!!!”
                   – Last line of the movie, Obi-Wan tells Owen: “This boy is a new hope. Unless the Empire strikes back, he should herald in the return of the Jedi.”


One Response to “Greedo Shoots First! Get over it! (Actually, that’s not the subject at all…)”

  1. kirawen October 15, 2003 at 1:07 pm #

    WOW. I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. But both include snorting. ^_~

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