11 Feb

      So, as someone who has in the past written, and will again in the future write screenplays, I am always conscious of “good” dialogue, and “corny” dialogue, and generally try to not actually speak in “bad dialogue.” In other words, I try to avoid cliche’s like “you make me want to be a better person” but, as I have found out, there’s a reason that certain things are cliches.
      People say them and feel them. Often. They just don’t do it when people are listening.
      Despite that however, I tend to try and avoid them anyways, just cause… I dunno, it’s hard to say things like that without cringing and or making myself and others sick. Sometimes.
      Now, however, is not one of those times. Because I’m in love. And because that love has just provided me with a reminder of us, and how powerful that connection that constitutes “us” really is. If such talk tends to make you cringe, or you can’t sit thru the entire “fireplace love confession” scene from Episode II without wanting to run and hide, or puke, or laugh uncontrollably, then, you might perhaps want to skip the rest of this. This will be the same thing: a young person (me, tho… I guess 24 isn’t that young) simply speaking his emotions with no concern for the words, perhaps, in fact, with trouble finding the right words.
      Being in love with Hallie has changed my life so much. I constantly feel better about myself, and stronger, and inspired to become even moreso. I’ll understand if after reading this, you want to fall in love with her too. Afterall, I couldn’t stop myself, I can’t expect any different from anyone else. We’re living together this summer in CA. Sometimes when I say that people react with something like “wow. that’s serious.” But it isn’t. It’s inevitable, really, and if it’s serious, then it has always been serious. There was never anything but this intense connection between us, once we acknowledged it. And it has done nothing but become more intense. In nothing but good ways. The problem with writing or talking about it is that there really aren’t the right words for it.
      Part of this reminder I speak of was a written version of our story; parts from her journal, which refer to parts of this past summer when we met. You know those scenes in romantic movies where you’re forced to go “Aaaawwww” and just get the whole warm fuzzies thing from the requiting of the love you knew was inevitable and was just waiting for it to finally happen? For the characters to finally admit it to themselves? Our story is like that. At least, it is to me. It is when I remember it, or read it or hear it told. It’s hard to describe, and I think i’ve done the best I can do. It’s kind of frustrating really, to be made so unarticulate when I’ve been spending the recent years of my life studying story and storytelling. I suppose it’s a testament to the feelings that I’m rendered, essentially, speechless by them. Sort of. I’m rendered articulate and accurate speech-less. Something like that. I think I’ve made my point. Hallie, I love you.


One Response to “Love.”

  1. chesire_smile February 11, 2004 at 8:23 pm #

    And I you, just as much.

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