God’s Confession [REVISED]

2 Apr

        How do you explain existence? My first memory is of existing.
        I exist now, I am. I exist and I am existence. That is all I know. I exist, and I am alone. How did I come to be?
        How did I come to be? That is the ultimate question. Perhaps there is a reason, an explanation, but I am not all-knowing. Perhaps that comes as a surprise, but I am not. I am not even all-powerful. I can only create to a limited degree. I just design. I have the power to expand and thus to do what some could see as create, but I cannot create all that I design, I can not manifest it and make it all come to be. I can just design it. The power of creation is left to others. The power of creation is left, ultimately, to the created.
        All that I know has been shared. All that is true has permeated all dimensions. It has been told, and written down, and it can all be found reflected in common enuff places.
        The symbols for the truth have come to be taken for the truth itself.
        The ultimate question is my motivation. Selfish, really, but I want to know how I came to be, and so I designed those who could find the answer, and I designed a reality for them, like an eager boy scout planning out a terrarium.
        I watched as the first attempt of creating you, and your reality, failed.
The reality unfolded as it should, it grew as a plant from a seed, manifesting itself from one dimension to the next, changing slightly each time to reflect the new dimension of its new existence, but somewhere was a flaw. Somehow, the creation wasn’t as it was designed to be, and this became more and more apparent the more dimensions it became extant in.
        We destroyed it.
        I say “We,” because at that point I had expanded into many people. They are all I, all part of Me, but they are also individuals. Each person that makes up Me has a different role, a different power, and all had become needed over the course of the first attempt. These expansions of myself are Me, but they are also themselves. (This is why you say “I” instead of “we,” for tho you are Me, you are also you, and all of you are Me and yourselves.) This truth of my nature is reflected in story in the many scriptures of Oriental religions, with the concept of all individuals also being part of an All.
        [And no, I did not “incorrectly” spell “though” by leaving off the last three letters. I’m god, I spell it like “tho.” I also spell “enough” like enuff, and “thought” like thot. And I use a word that you probably don’t (but should) which is “av.” Av is just a pronoun, like “he” or “she” and is not a name, just as “he” or “she” isn’t. Av is a pronoun meaning “one of all genders.”]
        This truth of the destruction of the first attempt is reflected in story as that of a world destroying flood, or the fable of a lost paradise, a world once had but now no longer attainable. Obviously, the existence of such tales proves that tho the first attempt was destroyed, someone remained to tell the tale. I remained, and all that make up I remained. We tried to find our mistake. We again expanded out of necessity; we created one who would discover what went wrong. The one who’s job this was, the one we expanded to include and thus created, would come to be known as Satan.
        Satan examined and studied the ways of creation, for tho we knew we could create, and we had, it was not something we really knew how to do, or had ever done before. Satan came to understand more of the process than we had previously. Av learned that once something is created in one dimension, it must somehow create its “future;” it must imagine itself as it will be in the next dimension and thus project itself there. It is only then that it can actually expand into that dimension, and thus, from the perspective of those already in that dimension, manifest into existence for the first time. Thus thru Satan’s work, and our own, we discovered our mistake.
        At least, we thot we did. We began the second attempt, the current attempt, the attempt that you are the result of, with this new knowledge.
        We were premature to do so.
        We cannot destroy this attempt as we did the last. We cannot start again. We must work with the flawed creation. We must transform it until it matches the design.
Our first mistake, as Satan discovered, was separation. I can create things directly; I can just, make things. I didn’t really know how, but I can make a thing and the result is that the thing exists separate from me. This is how the initial seed of reality was created, for the first attempt. And as it spread and grew thru dimensions, further and further from me, this separation became more and more significant. Those living in what has come to be symbolized in story as Paradise, were flawed.
They lacked knowledge they should have had. I had directly created them, by directly creating the seed that became them, and that was a mistake.
        I should have expanded to become them. This is another thing Satan discovered about creation; I can directly create things, but I can also expand to become other beings, who are both themselves and Me. This is how I, how We, made Satan. This is how We made the second attempt. We expanded to become and thus create you. More precisely We expanded to become and thus create the seed that grew thru dimensions to become you and your dimension: earthlings and earthling reality. To Me, you are I. To you, of course, you are just you. We cannot destroy the second attempt, because to do so would be to destroy us. We are stuck with it as you are, because we are you. This truth of our relationship is reflected in story as you having been created “in my image.”
        Satan was, with av’s knowledge of the process of creation, the first to notice that the second attempt wasn’t going correctly. Those who have come to be symbolized in story as Adam and Eve had been created, and in the first dimension appeared correctly, but as they manifested into the second and third dimensions, their forms had started to vary from the design. Thus it again became apparent that something was wrong.
        Satan thot av knew what the problem was. Av thot av could fix it. Av went into the dimension with them, manifested as a being commonly symbolized in story as a serpent or a tempting trickster or both, in an attempt to correct the mistake. We didn’t know what av thot the mistake was. We didn’t know how av planned to fix it. We only know (now) that av’s well-intentioned actions were wrong. Satan became trapped in creation, became a perversion of av’s true self, av’s every action resulting in a powerful emanation of disruption, av’s every attempt at escaping and reclaiming av’s self merely resulting in the opposite. Things came to exist that shouldn’t.
        Satan would have regretted this, if av could have remembered regret. Things came to exist that shouldn’t. Evil is not part of the design.
        The second attempt continued to unfold thruout the dimensions. We could not stop it just as one cannot stop a plant from growing without killing it. It reached the dimension you know as earthling reality, and there it stopped expanding. It stopped expanding in earthling reality because there, where you are, is the only dimension that contains non-living matter.
        Non-living matter cannot expand. It cannot project itself into further dimensions, it cannot imagine and thus create its “future” because it cannot imagine. It is non-living.
        How much of creation is correct? How much of what you now know as the world is also according to the design?
        You already know. You were born knowing it as you were born knowing right from wrong, thirst from tiredness.
        The great unfairness is that you are born expecting a world promised to you, expecting it to be as it should be, and it is not. This great unfairness is also the cause of my great sadness.
        Much has been done to change creation. Satan has been rescued and transformed to av’s former self. Much of Hell has been transformed, and the rest has been quarantined, left to destroy itself, as is the nature of evil. Humans have developed, tho slower than we had expected, and not as much as we need. Workers have been sent, angels have been employed as guides and teachers, spirits have been utilized as miracle-workers. Much has been done to change creation, but much more still needs to be done. I do all that I can do, and it saddens Me more to know it is not enuff. My first memory is of existing. My most recent ones are of sadness.


5 Responses to “God’s Confession [REVISED]”

  1. kirawen March 29, 2004 at 12:16 am #

    Whoah. ::applauds::

    • junorhane April 2, 2004 at 10:56 am #

      If I see god, I’ll forward your applause to av. Tho, av is probably aware of it.

  2. youngjedi April 20, 2004 at 2:07 am #

    God’s redemption
    So if this is God’s confession, it must be up to us to forgive. Perchance to redeem? Maybe God is the one who needs saving. ?

    • junorhane April 20, 2004 at 11:17 am #

      Re: God’s redemption
      I’m not sure if forgiveness is necessary.
      Certainly, placing blame doesn’t help, and if forgiveness removes blame, then it’s good to do, but otherwise, why even view God’s (and co.) past actions as things that must be judged in those terms? It happened – the result is the way things are. Now what?
      God could probably use some saving… but that’s partially saying that we need to save ourselves, as we are partially God.

      • youngjedi April 20, 2004 at 2:41 pm #

        Re: God’s redemption

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