“Welcome to the real world…”

6 Jun

…she said to me, “take a seat. Take your life, plot it out in black and white.”*

It has occurred to me that most of us (that is, the readers of this journal) are in roughly the same phase of our life; the one often referred to as “entering the real world.”
Having graduated last year, and therefore having been in this phase for a year or so, my overall general conclusion is that “the real world” is generally sucky.

We college graduates have very precise language. “Generally sucky” is the scientific term.

So what do you do when you wake to that? When you realize where you are in the world, how old you are, what you’ve done with your life, what you want to do and what you can’t seem to do, what do you do?

Obviously the first thing you do is read my Livejournal to find the answers. And of course this is a logical and intelligent thing to do (even those of you who got educated outside of school know that). I’ll be sure and post said answers as soon as you help me figure them out. So how do you try and organize your life?

A lot of people decide not to deal with this phase, and instead go back to what they know how to do: being a student. Since most people are students from a young age, to suddenly not be one after graduating is a very jarring thing. It’s perhaps easier to go back to being one. But I don’t know what I’d want to study at Grad-school. And even if I did, I’d still have to go through this phase eventually.

Chesire-smile’s dad says that there is this triangle of things that are important to people: Where they live, Where they work, and Whom they love. And when these things are all in balance, the person is happy.

Okay, but how do you rank these things? If you’re happy with where you’re living and have a good job, but you have no love, (or you’re far away from your love) is that ok? Is two out of three not bad? And does it matter which two you have? How do these rank in terms of importance, or are they all equally so?

I’d perhaps say that there are three things to figure out: financial support, daily-life routine (or not), and who you’re sharing your life with (friends, lover(s), etc.) And when these things are all figured out, you’re happy. If you’re financially secure, enjoy what you’re doing every day (whether or not it’s a routine), and get pleasure from the people around you, you’re doing great.

But saying that is easy. How do you get there, especially if you’re like me, and you enter “the real world” with financial debt from student loans? If you have great days doing what you more or less want, but you’re not financially supported, and your friends and lovers are all somewhere else, is that enough? Does that one thing outweigh the other two?
How do you look at this whole “life in the real world” thing?

I’m not just asking rhetorical questions. From what I know about the people who read this, we’re all basically in the same place. So I really want to know what you all think, and how you all look at this stuff.

So what do you think?

*Yes, I quoted cheesy song lyrics to begin this post. This is LiVEJOURNAL afterall.

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6 Responses to ““Welcome to the real world…””

  1. tinycaredance June 7, 2006 at 12:42 pm #

    real world is sucky. i concurr. however i can offer no help in the answer department as i am still attempting to “find myself” as well.
    i do agree with the triangle, work, location and love. but what kind of triangle is it? isosolese, right angle, equilateral!? too many choices.

    • junorhane June 9, 2006 at 7:58 am #

      So many choices! Well, equilateral triangle would be easy, ’cause it would mean that each of those three things is of equal importance.
      It’s probably not that simple. I think I’ll go with isosolese.

  2. kirawen June 7, 2006 at 6:19 pm #

    Unfortunately, I’m pretty certain there is no easy answer to all this. I also think that there will always be things that make you unhappy, even if you have all three of the above. Fights, for example. Bad days at work. Sudden unexpected strains on your financial status (having kids, for one!!). It’s probably relative happiness that counts, and what makes you relatively happy really depends on who you are. The only thing any of us CAN do is keep moving, keeping seeking happiness. I think the time to be fully happy and content with things is when you’re old and you’ve done pretty much everything you wanted to do and have had, at one point or another, everything you’ve wanted. Certainly now is not a good time to be worrying about completing everything, because worrying about all that at once is certain to make you very unhappy. I’m pretty sure that about sums up what’s going on with me right now, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it sums up a lot of people’s at-the-moments. We should, I think, be more focused on trying any idea that comes to mind. There are still so many years of youth left to spend trying and learning and doing. And there’s plenty of time later on to worry if it was all done right. So there are my thoughts on the matter…

    • junorhane June 9, 2006 at 8:09 am #

      So not only do we have a non-equilateral triangle, it’s a non-equilateral triangle which changes relative to who each person is.
      I’d like to be fully happy and content with things when I’m old, and I certainly hope that I will be able to do everything I want to do, but I don’t like sacrificing the present for a happy future.
      I want to be fully happy and content with things now, tomorrow, and for the rest of my days.
      Also, I’m definitely all for that whole not worrying thing.

  3. sylness June 8, 2006 at 5:08 am #

    As someone who has problems with this shit, I’d add health to the triangle. Which would make it not a triangle, but sort of a rectangle, I guess. Cause if that’s not on track, it affects everything else: money obviously, work to an extent, and relationships.

    • junorhane June 9, 2006 at 8:00 am #

      See how un-simple it is? Now our non-equilateral triangle isn’t even a triangle anymore.
      I am working on some follow-up here, and not just planning to leave it on this “things are complicated and I don’t know” note.

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